My Left Ovary is a Lazy Bitch

I’ve named her Kara after our lazy dog. The break is over. We’re trying again this month with 100mg of Cl0.mid on days 3 to 7. Today was my day 11 scan. One 16mm follicle on my right ovary & several tiny ones on my left that won’t amount to anything.I’m waiting to hear about my E 2 but the nurse thinks I’ll probably trigger tomorrow. S is in town all week so he’ll be available for as many insems as I want.

The Plan is in Motion

The chromosomes are ordered. They will be arriving Monday. Tonight I will take my third dose of Cl 0 mid. I had a very good acu puncture session Monday and will have another next Monday. Hopefully all will go as planned and this time next week I’ll be sp3rmy.

We were planning on waiting until this summer to try but there was no way it would have been possible. I have a few upcoming trips for work and will be out of town every other week from Memorial Day until the middle of July. Timing around that schedule would be hell. I didn’t want to wait any later to try. If this cycle doesn’t work we won’t be trying again until the end of the summer. That is unless my cycles line up perfectly with when I will be home. All big ifs but at least I’m moving forward. I had always hoped to be a mother before I turned 30. That isn’t going to happen but maybe I can be pregnant before 30.

Feeling a bit better

I’m a bit more calm that I was yesterday and not as angry. I am hurt. I wish I could have given more money but we really couldn’t afford it. I wish I could have given my time. I wish I could be surrounded by others that feel the same way I do right now. I live 2,750 miles away from San Francisco City Hall. That’s where I wanted to be last night, on the same steps we walked up to get our marriage license, the same steps we walked down as wife and wife, the same steps where we took wedding photos. I wanted to cry with others instead of crying myself to sleep. My mom called me to see how it would affect us. My brother called me to see if I was OK. My brother-in-law (I guess I’ll have to go back to calling him my brother-out-law…I liked that better anyway) called to tell us that it doesn’t matter what they say, that we’re still married, our wedding was witnessed by our families, we know we’re married and that’s all that matters. It still felt really good to know that someone somewhere that didn’t know us at all knew we were married. They stamped the paperwork, saw our names. We were legal. It meant more to me than I knew at the time. I’m trying to drag myself out of this funk.

I am so glad we were able to get married in CA this summer. We had a beautiful wedding surrounded by our families. Our marriage wasn’t legal in our state of residence on Monday and it’s not legal now. No real change. I’m also glad we ordered multiple copies of our marriage license. I’m glad I was able to legally change my name with our marriage license. I’m glad our future family will share the same last name. 

I’m also glad that this week was full of firsts. It was the first time that I have ever voted for a candidate in a general election that won. It was the first time in my lifetime that my home state was blue. It is the first time that my sister voted for a Democrat. 

In other, non-depressing news, tomorrow is finally CD1. I was very excited to start spotting this afternoon. It is CD 66 afterall. One more cycle until we try to knock me up.