Is it Friday yet?

I’m looking forward to Friday for several reasons. Like many CA Limited Edition married same sex couples, we are celebrating our first wedding anniversary this summer. Ours is Friday. It’s also the 11th anniversary of the day we met. We both took the day off from work. We have plans to go to the zoo and then a nice dinner. It’s 12dpo and I’m not allowing myself to test until Friday.

I’m trying to explain away all symptons so I don’t get disappointed when I see red (and I’m convinced that I WILL see red). I’ve been gagging and had dry heaves at work for the past few days but I work in a stinky place and smell has brought it on every time. I’ve been tired after work and yesterday I had to nap but I have given up my morning coffee. I’ve been using the bathroom more and wake up 2 hours before my alarm to go pee but I’ve been drinking more water since I gave up coffee. The ladies I can’t really explain away. They’re still showing all 4 Hs and have a new symptom that seems odd to me. My n!ps seem to have grown. I didn’t notice it ay first, R did. Now I notice that they’re at attention all the time which I think is why they seem larger. I used to be able to get away with cotton bras but now you can see everything and I have to wear the more padded and supportive but far less comfortable underwire torture devices.

It seems way to soon to have any symptoms. I have such little faith in my body that I’m convinced it didn’t work and am just waiting for red. Every cramp and every feeling of dampness has me running to the bathroom certain that I will see red.

R just knows I’m kn0cked up. I have mixed emotions about this. For a while I thought she had changed her mind about having kids because everytime I suggested we start trying again she had an excuse why she didn’t want to just yet. So I’m glad to see her so excited at the prospect of it all. On the other hand I’m worried that she will take it very hard when I’m not.

I’m trying to not be such a big ball of negativity but apparently that’s my coping mechanism for the latter portion of the wait. Is it Friday yet?