Scary *Updated

Our donor goes to V1rg1n1a Tεch. We’re trying to get in touch with him to make sure he’s OK.

*Update: Our donor was running late this morning. He was in the shower and didn’t go to campus on time. Thank G-d he was a lazy bum this morning. We breathed a huge sigh of relief when we found that out. All those affected are in our thoughts.

A diagnosis? and A plan! *Updated

Primary infertility – Unspecified ovulation dysfunction

Well, we could’ve told him that. I’m not too impressed with the RE we saw today. There were many things that he said that just got under my skin A LOT. I had to bite my tongue more than once. We knew that we might not be able to find a doctor that was willing to help us at all. This was one of the offices that refused to help a lesbian couple conceive just because they were a same sex couple when our friends were TTC 2 years ago. Still, we didn’t lie. They knew who I was and I went with her to the appointment. Here are some highlights:

• He assumed that R was having sex with our donor, not that we were doing IVI at home. We didn’t correct him. Remember, we were scared that he’d say no and wouldn’t help us at all.
• He tried to discourage us getting pregnant using a KD because, and I quite, “We’ll end up spending more money on legal fees than the entire prenatal care and delivery.”
• I can’t tell you how many times he brought up the legal ramifications of using a KD. Yes we know it’s risky, but what’s our other option? We don’t want to use frozen and we want to have kids. I’m not waiting until they can produce sperm from my bone marrow!
• He thinks that R’s irregular cycles are just caused by stress. He said that it can be stressful to have sex outside of the relationship (remember, we didn’t correct him).
• He wanted to know why we were temping & acted as if it was unnecessary.
• He gave us Pr0vera so we don’t have to wait on R’s period again, just in case she were to have another 53 day cycle. R is supposed to take it for 10 days and then, ta da, AF visits. We’re thinking of cheating and using it to make AF visit just at the right time so she will O when we are near our donor the 3rd weekend of May.
• He gave us Cl0mid. The dose is 50 mg on days 5-9. OPKs starting day 11. He said to only use F1rst Response OPKs. Then she’s supposed to have sex the day of her LH surge. Ewwwww…have sex, especially considering who our donor is.
• R has to get bloodwork done one week after her LH surge to test progesterone levels.
• He asked who our donor was. We didn’t name names, because we didn’t want his name on any any records. We just said that he was a family member. The doctor actually felt the need to ask R if the donor was her family member. Sure, we know so little about genetics that R is knockin’ boots with her brother & wondering why we can’t keep a bun in the oven. Actually, he is one of my family members. The doctor didn’t see how this person was our family member & kept referring to him as my family member, leaving R out of the mix. Just because he’s a brother-out-law since we’re not legally recognized as a couple doesn’t make him any less of a family member in our eyes.

As much as it all bothered me, I had to think that I was lucky. At least he was willing to help us, albeit with an annoying commentary. We’re lucky enough to have insurance that will cover fertility treatments. He is the only RE that accepts our insurance within 50 miles of our house. My newest mantra is “we only have to see him until we get pregnant.” We got what we wanted, Pr0vera & Cl0mid. Here’s hoping we don’t have to deal with him very long.

Questions for you , what’s your opinion on these?

1. Why only F1rst Response OPKs? Do they have a lower level of detection?
2. Sure, there’s no common genetic information flowing through R and our donor, but you’d call your Bro-in-law your family right?
3. Do most REs think temping & charting are a waste of time?
4. Should we have corrected him on the sex thing?
5. Are the Cl0mid side effects really as bad as everyone says?

*Update – Forgot to add that R has normal anatomy. A slightly tipped uterus, but he (Dr. Forehead) said it was nothing to be concerned about.

BTW…RE will now be known as Dr. Forehead & he resembles J0hn Lithg0w.

Doctor Tomorrow

We have our appointment tomorrow (technically today since it’s after midnight). We have a lot of questions for the doctor and are hoping to get the answers we want. The three days of spotting finally turned into a period, albeit light, but a cycle nonetheless. We won’t be trying this month, hopefully next month. My seminar presenting my research for the last 3 semesters and my thesis defense are the Monday after R ovulates this month. There’s no way I can get away next weekend to see our donor. He is also graduating this semester so he has a lot going on too and can’t come up to see us. Just to make sure we don’t have it easy our donor is going to Europe for a month after graduation. We’re hoping that he waits a week or so after his graduation to leave so we can try in May. Also if he waits we’ll be able to try (assuming that the May cycle is a bust) when he gets back too. It’s all up in the air since we don’t know why R’s cycle was so late or if it will be a regular cycle this month. We’re hoping it all works out soon and we can try again.

We have a list of questions for the doctor. Any suggestions about what we should add to the list?