Try #3

We will be TTC again in February. R and I talked it over and decided that, even though I will be unemployed, we will continue to try. We’re hoping the blood tests come back fine so we can try in Feb.

Well it happened

I lost my job. Well, I didn’t exactly lose it. I know precisely where it is. They’ve taken it away from me to give it to a girl right out of high school with no experience. My last day is February 20th. They wanted me to leave at the end of this month but I asked them to let me stay until we got our 2006 bonus payout on Feb 16th. At least they’re letting me have that. They won’t fight unemployment if I don’t get another job right away. They also told me that I am eligible for rehire if I want to go back after graduation. (because that’s just want I always wanted to do with my chemistry degree).

R doesn’t want to TTC again until I get another job. I want to keep trying. We’ll see which way it goes.

I did get some good news today though. I will be graduating with departmental honors.

Where should we move?

It’s time for me to start applying to graduate schools and I have no clue where I want to go. There are many programs at many schools that interest me but I can’t even decide on state! I would prefer the Eastern time zone, but that’s as specific as I’ve gotten. My family is in NC and VA with a few stragglers in TX and R’s family is in PA (except her dad lives in CA) so we’d like to stay relatively (under 500 miles away) close to one side of the family or the other. We’re open to any and all suggestions. We want a place where 2nd parent adoption is legal & we can (eventually) raise our family. The cost of living can’t be atrocious because we’ll need to be able to afford a house with a back yard for the furry kids. Public transportation would be nice. I’ve lived in an area where I had rocks thrown at me and people spat on me just for going out in public with a date* and I don’t want to raise my children in a place like that. The place should be GLBTQ friendly; R and I are tired of being the token lesbian couple. Anyone want to tell us why your city should be our next home?

*Talk about a terrible first date. In high school I took a girl to the local fair. We weren’t guilty of excessive PDA but were obviously together. A group formed around us and they were throwing rocks and spitting. We went to the cops to complain and we were escorted from the fairgrounds because we were “disturbing the peace.” It was almost 15 years ago and things have gotten a bit better in that area. Even still, my hometown is out of the question.

Moments from the Midwife Visit

• We were sitting in complete silence when, all of a sudden, R said, “I bet if they played tapes of children screaming, crying, and whining instead of soothing music while you’re waiting it would lower the population of [our hometown].” Which caused me to let out a guffaw just as the midwife came back in the room.
• R’s midwife spent a majority of the visit talking to me. This happens to me when I’m with R all the time! People even think that I’m her mother, all the time! I’m younger, so what if I’m 2 inches taller. If we’re out to dinner, I get the check. If we’re shopping for a major purchase (car, jewelry, etc.) sales people always address me. I just wanted to turn to our midwife and scream, “It’s her body, you can talk to her too about when her LMP was!”

In defense of the midwife we saw, she’s not R’s normal midwife. We did throw her off, when we made the appointment we told the receptionist that we just wanted to have a check-up and make sure everything was OK. When the midwife walked into the room she was under the impression that we had had a positive HPT and were just coming in to confirm a pregnancy because that’s how the receptionist had coded our visit. Once we got that cleared up she reviewed our charting and says we’re doing a good job. She reassured us that sometimes, OPKs just don’t work but as long as 3 other signals line up we shouldn’t have anything to worry about (haven’t I heard that before…). She was a bit concerned about R’s short LP so she’s ordered blood work. She’s most interested to see how R’s progesterone levels are. She did chastise R because she hasn’t been taking prenatals. She gave us free samples and will write a script when we get pregnant. She’s going to call us with the results from the blood work this month and wished us luck. The last thing she said was that she hopes to see us pregnant soon.
We were very surprised, this is the same practice that friends of ours had problems with a few years ago. All in all, a good visit.

We’ve decided not to try this month. We didn’t want to throw off any testing that the midwife ordered, plus our donor couldn’t come visit, and R couldn’t get off work so it doesn’t seem to be a good month. One month into 2007 and our 2007 plan of attack is out the door. Oops… We will be trying in February, the plans are already made.

As for my job, I still don’t know if I’ll have one in a few weeks. I am supposed to know on Monday so, hopefully, I’ll still have a source of income.

Travelling South This Month

Our donor can’t come to visit us this month so we will be travelling to visit him, assuming that the midwife doesn’t find anything wrong tomorrow.

Checkup Tomorrow

We made an appointment to see R’s midwife tomorrow. We’re seeing a different midwife than the woman that normally does R’s Paps and checkups, but she’s part of the same practice. We have a list of things to talk to her about & just want to check in and make sure all the plumbing is up to par for our next try.
Our questions:

• Why the funky AF this month with high temps?
• Why hasn’t R ever had a positive OPK even though CM & temps show she’s ready to O? If there’s a problem, how can we fix it?
• Is a LP on the short side (9-11 days) something to worry about and, if so, what can we do about it?

If there’s anyone actually reading this thing…

We need some advice. This month R was 2 days late. She spotted for 2 days & then started what, for her, would have been an extremely light period. That lasted a little over a day and it’s now back to spotting. At first it was brown & would just show up when she wiped. It progressed to red but was never heavy enough to warrant anything more than a panty (oh how I hate that word) liner. Thing is, her temps haven’t dipped at all; they’re still at LP level and have been for 18 days now. Should we be concerned? Does this warrant a trip to talk to our midwife (we were thinking about checking in with her anyway this month)? Is there anything that could cause a light & late period with elevated temps? It’s not that we think she might be pregnant, we just want to make sure everything is in tip top shape for the next try which starts in 2 weeks or so.

No Baby

R started spotting late last night, full on AF by tonight. We called donor & will be insemming in about 2 weeks.

Job Update

I will most likely be losing my job. I have been working for the same company for just under 8 years. A few years ago I decided to go to college. I went to school part time while working full time for several years, taking one or two classes each semester. Two years ago I started going to school full time & I dropped down to part time at work. This academic year is my last year of undergrad. I only needed 4 classes, one seminar and two credits of research to graduate so I started back at work full time this summer & planned on taking two classes and one research credit each semester. When I was promoted to my current full time position last summer they KNEW that I was a college student & that I would be going to school and would not have open availability. It was fine last semester and all of a sudden there’s a problem. To make matter worse my position was eliminated and the new position that is replacing it requires open availability, which I don’t have. My boss actually told me that if I wanted to keep my job I needed to drop out of school. I have been at this way too long to stop now, then end is in sight! I only have two classes, one seminar and one credit of research left. I feel really selfish but I have put my job before school many times over the past few years. There were a few semesters that I withdrew from school completely, even if I lost my tuition, because they needed more help at work. My boss is trying to pull strings to I can be full time split between two locations with the same pay rate, but it doesn’t look good.

The Good:

• They will give me two weeks notice before they lay me off.
• I can take the Latin class that I was really interested in but couldn’t take because I needed to work on Thursdays.
• They won’t fight fight my unemployment so I will have some cash flow until I can find another job.
• They will put me in as eligible for rehire if I want to go back after graduation (ha!).
• I will have more free time since this semester will be the most difficult semester I’ve ever had.
• More time to visit graduate schools and focus on applications.
• I can get a part time job on campus, which, when combined with my unemployment, will bring in almost what I’m used to making.
• Weekends off for the first time in my life so I can drive up and down the east coast to go visit our donor.

The Bad:

• NO job.
• No free movie rentals.
• Accepting handouts from the government.
• No time to start job hunting because the semester starts Tuesday.

Can you tell I’m trying to convince myself that this isn’t an absolutely terrible thing?

Looking Ahead

We’ve started discussing our TTC plan of attack for 2007. We haven’t been actively trying every month. We haven’t given up hope on this cycle, but with three peoples schedules to work around we decided to start planning for next cycle. We’ve decided that we will try every month until it happens, no taking months off (in case we really need it emotionally). We’ve requested off work for each anticipated weekend through June. Thank G-d R usually ovulates on the weekend. Our donor has scheduled classes so he has a long weekend every week so we will alternate visiting him and him coming up here each month.
If we still aren’t pregnant in June we’ll start thinking about IUI in a doctor’s office with or without meds. I guess we’ll have to get our donor tested and find a doctor that will work with us. A lesbian couple we know were TTC a few years ago (they have since broken up, guess there was a reason they never succeeded) and they weren’t able to find a doctor within 40 miles of our ultra conservative county that was willing to help them. Luckily Baltimore & Philadelphia are close enough to drive for appointments if needed. Our doctor & midwife have no problems helping us once R is pregnant but they won’t do IUIs on any couple that is not married, no matter what their sexual orientation. They’re the only local doctor that accepts our insurance. We really need to get out of here.