Introducing Puck

This is a photo of Puck in action!

One of the rare times Puck is sitting still.

Newest Family Member

Dexter is sorely missed. Silas & R were really lonely so we got a new friend. His name is Puck and he’s 3 months old. He’s settling in to the family although he doesn’t get along with Hamlet at all!

Our 1st 2WW is Over

So, I’m glad that’s over with. We had a bit of hope because AF was 1 day late. R spotted last night & AF started this evening. E-mailed our donor & invited him to come visit us the weekend of September 8-10. Our next TWW will start again then.

This TWW Thing SUCKS!

OK, so I told myself going into this rollercoaster that it could take us a long time to get pregnant. I told myself that I wasn’t going to get too excited the first time because I knew that it could be the first of many tries for our child. I told myself, especially after the debacle that was our first insemination, I would think of this as a trial run. We were figuring out how to use the speculum, insert the syringe, etc. That’s why we got more outside than in. If I prepared myself then why in the hell am I so upset!

R has been convinced that she is pregnant for the past few days (with no HPT confirmation). Her b00bs are sore, she is incredibly tired, her stomach is upset, and she’s reeeeaaaaallllllyyyyy cranky. She says she knows her body & that this isn’t normal for her. I’ve known her for 8 years and have never experienced a bout of PMS like this. I was worried that she was seeing symptoms where there were none, until we measured her. We’ve been going to the gym all summer and measure ourselves once a week to track our progress. In the past week her chest measurement has gone up 1 inch. Could her b00bs really be bigger? They look a bit bigger, they feel a bit bigger, but are we seeing/feeling that because that’s what I want to see and feel?

When we inseminated we decided that we wouldn’t POAS until Friday, 10 dpo. We broke down and tested last night, and again today (more trial runs I keep telling myself). I wasn’t supposed to be so upset when the tests were negative, this was just supposed to be a trial, this could take us months…I’m really trying to convince myself. I’m scared that the tests will all be negative this month & AF will rear her ugly head this weekend.

To make matters worse, I’m sitting here having feelings of inadequacy. I’ve been included in this process by tracking R’s cycles, charting her temps, helping check CM & CP, recording the results of OPKs, doing the insemination. If this doesn’t work is it because my charting was off, were we inseminating at the right time, did I screw the insemination up in some way? I worry that if we get a BFN it’s all my fault. Yet at the same time, I know that it’s ridiculous to blame myself.

101 Reasons Our Donor Rocks: Round One

OK, I can’t come up with 101 reasons right now. I’ll just start the list & keep adding as we travel on our journey.

1. He came to us & offered his services.
2. We think he will make beautiful babies.
3. He’s usually a partier (23 y.o. college student), has given up heavy drinking & all drugs for us.
4. He turned down sex because we were inseminating 2 days later.
5. He completely agreed with the first draft of our donor agreement.
6. He wasn’t too shy to um…perform.

Long Time no Read/See/Hear

We’re back in civilization! My family lives in the middle of nowhere and they are only able to get dial-up internet access. I didn’t have the patience to try & post while I was down there. Here’s a recap of our visit south of the Mason-Dixon line.
Sunday: R had to work, we headed south when she got home
Monday: We slept in and basically were lazy bums all day. Wanted to go over things with donor but didn’t get around to it…bad timing & unexpected visitors, later met with our donor to go over the donor agreement, did our 1st insemination ever (amusing story to come later), went to bed dreaming baby dreams
Tuesday: Went to visit my family at work (easy to do when they all work together, aren’t family businesses great), cooked dinner for my entire family (I wasn’t warned that my fried chicken would have to pass my Granny’s inspection)
Wednesday: R, my sister & I got haircuts, we went to visit my mom, Mom, sis & I got manicures & pedicures, R waited outside because she couldn’t stand the smell of the nail salon, went to dinner at my Bama’s, went out at midnight to celebrate my little sister’s 21st birthday
Thursday: Spent time with my mommy while my sister moved into her new apartment at school (yay for not getting roped into moving furniture!), met my family at a restaurant for dinner, went out again to celebrate the fact that my sister can get now legally buy alcohol
Friday: Lazy bums again, hit the road to come home around 8pm

Loss in the Family

Our dear middle (furry) child Dexter passed away last night. He was the best cat ever and was R’s best buddy. He had urinary problems over the past year and this past time was too much for him. The vet thinks he may have had tumors on his kidneys, possibly cancerous. We’re very sad but still plan on going ahead with our insemination next week. Hopefully it will result in something happy so we can smile again.

But Enough about Me

On the baby makin’ front: we have our supplies. They showed up 2 days ago. We’ve reviewed the KD contract and have sent it to our donor to look over. We’ll sign it over a lovely dinner Sunday night. Then, as long as R’s temps, CM & cervix are doing what they’re supposed to (with verification of an OPK), we’ll inseminate that night. We plan on doing at least 2 insems next week. Then we’ll enter the TWW that I’ve heard such great things about

We’ve talked about when to do a HPT if Auntie doesn’t come to visit this month. I think we should wait until my birthday (Labor Day weekend). R says that she doesn’t think I could wait that long. It might be a premature conversation to have anyway, but I think a BFP would make for the best birthday ever!

PCOS Sucks

I’m up way too late tonight. I have to work in less than 7 hours & really, I do know better than to stay up this late. I’m gearing up for the most fun of Dr’s appointments. Yes, I know that R is the one that will be trying to carry our 1st child, but I’m headed to the OB/GYN tomorrow. My PCOS has gotten out of hand & I need to try some new meds. I’ve been on Provera for a few years and I’m getting tired of it. I don’t think it’s supposed to give me two periods per cycle, but it has. I also want to have the “I plan on trying to get pregnant in the next few years” talk. I know it’s a little, ok…really, premature since I want to carry our 2nd child & we are still 1 week from our first time out of the gate for our 1st child, but my ovaries have a mind of their own. It may take at least 2 years of beating down on them with hormones before they even decide to release an egg. I figure if I get my cycles under control & get myself ovulating now it will be a lot easier in a few years to get pregnant. I’ve been doing some research on my own so I can be an informed consumer at the appointment tomorrow. R & I don’t have the same doctor but we go to the same practice. She isn’t comfortable with a male OB/GYN and sees a midwife instead. I really don’t care and didn’t really have a choice since I needed a PCOS specialist.

When did I get old?

Lately I’ve been feeling really old and by old I mean mature. It’s hard to be surrounded by traditional college students all day and not forget that you’re almost 10 years older than most of them. This old feeling might have happened gradually but I only started noticing it in the last few weeks.

Exhibit A: R and I were out for a friend’s bachelorette party. It started tamely enough with dinner and then became a bar crawl. After the 6th bar we ended up in a night club, complete with LASER lights, smoke machines, and loud, booming music. We didn’t stick around after that. We left because we were tired (it was shortly after midnight), it was too loud and the lights were giving me a headache.

Exhibit B: I was at a week long conference for our fraternity last week (Phi Sigma Pi). Once again I found myself surrounded by typical college students. They were out partying until the butt crack of dawn and I was in bed by 1am every night. Their main concern was the location of the liquor store (not too difficult because you can buy liquor in gas stations in Missouri!!!) while I was more concerned with finding a good restaurant and maybe a good bottle of wine.

Exhibit C: R and I are car shopping. She owns 2 cars and, technically, I don’t have a car. Her Saab, Marty, is dying a terrible death and the treatment to heal one of his ailments would cost $2000. That doesn’t repair the 500 other things that are wrong with the car (I exaggerate, but seriously the thing a lost cause). Those other things aren’t a priority because they don’t make the car a death trap. So needless to say Marty will be laid to rest, hopefully this weekend. R and I were car shopping last night. We had several discussions about how this decision would affect having a baby. We didn’t want a new car because we don’t want another car payment when R is on maternity leave, we wanted to make sure the car was big enough for a car seat and other baby gear (friends don’t let friends drive mini-vans), we looked at safety features & gas mileage; we decided on 4 doors. I never would have done this a few years ago. I would have seen a car that I liked, driven it, and bought it. I never would have thought about any of that stuff….

I’m not sure if I miss being irresponsible and reckless but I do miss the idea of it.