Photo Friday-Tranquility

My Girls-TranquilityOriginally uploaded by NotACrayon

I’m getting back in the game!

I was forced to use an old photo for this Photo Friday theme. With the nasty weather we’ve had lately and the funk I’ve been in with the flu on top of my deep loathing for my job I couldn’t come up with a single tranquil thing in my life this week.

I had to go all the way back to last spring. It was my last semester of undergrad. I was working on my thesis, preparing for my defense, studying for my finals and major field assessment test, relieved nothing happened to my brother at VT, gearing up for another (failed) TTC cycle, looking for a job, trying to decide what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, the list goes on and on. April 24th was one of the first really beautiful days of spring. The grass was finally turning green and the grey of winter was gone!

I came home from class last spring to find the house empty. I knew R was home, her car was in the driveway. After checking upstairs I went into the back yard and this is what I found. My girls were taking full advantage of the beautiful day by lounging in the sun belly up. I was jealous. I had a quick bite to eat, kissed my family goodbye, and headed back to campus.

Job Update

I am still miserable at work. I sent out several resumes and applied to a few jobs in my area. We live in a relatively small town and there are not a lot of places within a reasonable commute that employ chemists. I got a call this week about a job. It was in the same town where I’m working. I had a brief phone interview and the HR manager determined that I was overqualified for the job that I had applied for. She asked me if I would be interested in a different position. It pays more than I’m making now. It is actually in the area of chemistry that I focused on in school (current job is no where near it). Sounds great, right? There’s a huge problem. It’s about an hour from where we used to live in PA. I moved all the way down here to get asked to interview for my dream job where I used to live. I am still going in for an interview. I was planning on taking a trip to PA next weekend to visit some friends anyway. Now I’m taking a vacation day to drive up Thursday evening and interview Friday morning. If the pay is right and they offer relocation assistance I will consider moving.

R still hasn’t found a job in the area. She has 3 weeks of unemployment benefits left. We’re starting to sweat. She has even considered begging my dad for a job. She has had a few interviews in the past few weeks. One is very promising and she hopes she gets the job. It’s a state job so things take forever. They told her she should know if she got the job in a month.

R is convinced that as soon as she gets a job down here I will be offered the job in PA. I told her that I’d turn down the job in PA and keep looking in this area if that’s the case.

I hate my job

So remember that job that I loved 6 months ago? Well I can’t stand to be there anymore. I’m looking for another job. There’s not enough work coming through to keep even one chemist busy. There are three of us. I spend most days just staring at the wall.

You know it’s bad at work when your doctor tells you that your ankle may require surgery to repair ligaments that you tore when you broke your foot and sprained your ankle and you get excited because you won’t have to go into work for a few days.

Anyone in NC?

I talked about this in a previous post, but it’s getting so frustrating that I’m bringing it up again. We’re having trouble finding a doctor in our area. There are plenty of doctors, but they won’t work with us! They refuse to perform IUIs or even fill out a medical release form to for a sp.εrm bank if you are not legally married. I would be legally married if I could. We’re so frustrated. We have a donor picked out. We want to start trying again soon. We want to go ahead and order the chromosomes. My midwife says she has heard of someone in Grεεnsb0r0 that is willing to perform IUIs on unmarried women. I have been making phone calls. I have been told many times that they can’t help me. I have not received a single apology. I have left messages with other doctors. They aren’t returning my calls. I know there are doctors in the Trιαnglε area, Chαrl0ttε, Ashεvιllε, and Wιlmιngton; we just don’t want to have to drive that far. I would have to miss a full day of work for every appointment. I have a limited number of vacation days at work since I have only been here 6 months. They would only last for 2 cycles of IUIs. Then where would we be?

So I’m forced to beg…If any of my readers are in NC (especially the Triad area), know anyone in NC, read a blog of someone in NC (you get the picture) that has been TTC and is not legally married please let me know. You can send them my email if you’re uncomfortable giving out their info. Send them a link to the blog. They can comment anonymously. I just need the name of a doctor.

 I’m really regretting moving here. This isn’t the only reason, but I’ll have to talk about it in another post.

Donor List Reject

R and I have been pouring over donor catalogs for months. Ever since KD #1 backed out we knew that using an unknown donor was an ever increasing possibility. It has me thinking…I can’t help but wonder how we’d fare if it were one of our mini bios that people were examining. I’m having a hard time eliminating people for health problems that seem minor compared to my family history. R is struggling too. She has an even more sordid medical history. She was born with a congenital heart defect that, at age 25, caused congestive heart failure. Her mother and siblings all have a heart murmur from the same valve but nowhere near as bad as hers. She had a mitral valve and tricuspid valve prolapse with an atrial septal defect. To top it all off, in the tests leading up to the surgery it was discovered that she has a backwards aorta. She had heart surgery in May 2004 and is now healthy and her cardiologist has assured that there’s no additional risk should she become pregnant. Would you pick a donor with a heart condition? I don’t think they’d even make it past the screening processes.

Sp…I came up with my own bio based on the bio provided by our bank. Would you pick me?

Donor General Information
Date of Birth: 1979
Marital Status: Living with Partner
Number of children: 0
Religion: Jewish
Occupation: Chemist
Blood Type: A+
Ethnicity: French, English, Norwegian, Native American
Race: Caucasian
Comments: not ethnic Jew, converted

Donor Physical Attributes
Height: 5′5″                          Eyebrows: Very full
Weight: overweight             Dimples: yes
Eye Color: Hazel/Green      Acne: Yes
Hair Color: Brown                Acne Info: Mild and persists into adulthood
Hair Texture: Thick            Shoe Size: 10.5
Hair Loss: none                    Body Build: Large
Hair Type: wavy                  Freckles: None
Dominant Hand: Right        Skin Tone: Medium
Face Shape: Round              Hairy: Yes
Lips: Thin                              Ear Lobes: Detached
Nose Shape: Normal            Long Eyelashes: Yes

Donor Health Information
Allergies: Codeine, bee stings, rabbits, cats, dust, grass, mold, seasonal allergies
Eyesight: poor and farsighted, corrected with bifocals or contacts
Other: GERD, PCOS, chronic skin infections

Donor Personality and Interest Attributes
Skills Hobbies and Interest: Trivia, board games, math, science, cooking, very analytical

Donor Education
In School: No                   In School Major: Chemistry and Biology
Training Type:
College Degrees: B.S.
GPA: 3.1
SAT: 1370
IQ: 138

Immediate Medical History
Mother: 5′6″ 150 lbs, large build with thin and coarse brown hair, green eyes, fair skin, right handed. Administrative assistant with some college education
Comments: Hysterectomy at 42-fibroids; In good health overall; wears glasses

Father: 5′9″ 210 lbs, average build with thick dark brown hair, brown eyes, olive skin, right handed. Farmer with some college education 
Comments: High blood pressure, high cholesterol, heavy smoker and drinker, seasonal allergies, GERD, chronic bronchitis, wears glasses

Brother: 5′10″ 165 lbs, average build with brown hair, brown eyes, olive skin, right handed. Farmer with college education
Comments: Asthma and seasonal allergies, wears reading glasses

Sister: 5′9″ 170 lbs, large build with thick wavy brown hair and brown eyes, medium skin, right handed. College Student
Comments: amεlogεnεsis impεrfεctα (dental enamel defect) , GERD, seasonal allergies

Paternal Medical History
Grandfather: 5′11″ 180 lbs with average build. Brown hair and eyes, fair skin, right handed. Business owner. Died at 75 from liver failure
Comments: liver disease, alcoholic

Grandmother: 4′10″ and 110 lbs. small build. Thick black hair and brown eyes. Beautician with trade school education
Comments: high blood pressure, strokes, cataracts, glaucoma, nearly blind

Aunt (half sibling, same mother): Breast Cancer, wears glasses

Uncle (half sibling, same mother): Migraines and severe allergies, wears glasses

Maternal Medical History

Grandmother: 5′9″ 150 lbs. with large build. Thick red hair and green eyes. Homemaker with high school education.
Comments: Alcoholic and drug use, wears glasses

Grandfather: 6′2″ 170 lbs. with large build. Thick brown hair and brown eyes. Engineer with a college education.
Comments: emphysema (heavy smoker), colon cancer in 50s, wears glasses

Uncle: 6′2″ 220 lbs. with large build. Blonde/red hair and light blue eyes. Mechanic with trade school education. 
Comments: Hodgkin’s Disease age 30

Wouldn’t you know…

I haven’t posted in over two months and the day I decide to post that I don’t know anything new from our possible donor we get a phone call from him. He is not going to be able be our donor.  

Come on economic stimulus! It’ll be just enough to buy a few rounds of chromosomes.

We Are Not Dead!

G-d, it’s been a long time since I updated. Things have been so crazy around here that I haven’t had any time to be online. I can’t believe how much time I used to spend online. I don’t even know if there is anyone out there that still cares about what’s going on with us.

What all has happened since November?

•  We found a house and moved in the week before Thanksgiving.
• I broke my foot 3 weeks after we moved in. I have been in a walking cast for the past 7 weeks and probably will be in it for at least another month. It may require surgery to repair soft tissue damage in my ankle.
• R still hasn’t found a job but is half way through her Master’s program.
• Our possible donor had some major life changing events occur in December and still has not decided if he can help us out.
• We decided to have a wedding in December and have thrown ourselves into planning for that. It has worked somewhat to alleviate the TTC stress.
• I am not really enjoying my job anymore and am looking into NC teacher’s certification in chemistry.
• We are still shopping for donors. We have narrowed it down to a bank and have a short list of donors that we like.
• I have ovulated each month on my own since Nov. It’s exciting! We will begin TTC with my body if R hasn’t conceived by August.
• We have found that there are few, if any, doctors in our area that are willing to do insems for non-traditional couples. My midwife doesn’t perform insems and said that she doesn’t know of any doctors in the area that will perform an insem for a nonmarried woman. Anyone know if someone that has a doctor in the Triad area of NC? Email me and let me know!

Oh my G-D!

I am ovulating!!!!! For the first time in a really really long time (a few years) I am ovulating. I have been temping, checking CM, and peeing on OPKs (even though I know they aren’t always reliable for people with PCOS). All signs point to ovulation! I can’t believe how much EWCM I have. I am talking gobs. I always remembered having a lot in high school before I knew what it was and it freaked me out. I thought there was something wrong with me. People should really explain a woman’s body to her better. I knew nothing of these fertility signs until a few years ago.

All it took was:

• Pr0metrium (400 mg a day for 2 weeks) followed by one of the worst periods I can ever remember (3 heavy days with debilitating cramps followed by 5 regular days and 2 days of spotting)
• Metf0rmin (1000 mg a day for 2 weeks). I started the Metf0rmin on CD 5 only because I had to wait on my liver function tests to come back OK before I could start it.
• Losing 10 pounds.

Here’s hoping it isn’t a freak occurrance. I still have a year but maybe if I can get my weight down to my goal by next summer (and things haven’t worked out for R) we can start TTC with my body because I’m ovulating!!!

What’s going on with me

So with all the BS about donors I completely forgot to give an update about me. I went to my GYN 2 weeks ago. Actually I saw a CNM in the same practice I used to go to the last time I lived here. I love her! She was very nice and understanding. We talked about my PCOS and how we have been TTC with R’s womb. R and I have discussed TTC with my body, but were always hesitant. I have PCOS and am overweight. I shared these concerns with my midwife and she does not think I will have a problem conceiving as long as I prepare my body beforehand. She did stress that the PCOS will make things more difficult, but did not think that it was impossible for me to conceive. She and I have laid out a one year plan. I have one year to lose weight and prepare my body. She got me set up with a nutritionist and convinced my insurance company to pay for it since I have PCOS. She ran a ton of blood work; I felt like a pincushion. She checked hormone levels (LH:FSH ratio, total testosterone, DHEAS, SHBG, androstenedione, and prolactin), liver enzymes and function, thyroid, blood sugar, and cholesterol. She also prescribed pr0metrium and metf0rmin, The pr0metrium should get me menstruating again. I was on pr0vera every other month but I ran out of refills and my old Dr. in PA would not call in a refill without a physical. Since I had no insurance that made things a bit difficult. The midwife was horrified to learn that I had not had a period since February. Funny story about that later… The liver function and enzyme tests were because of the met. As long as that comes back within range I can start the met. It should help me ovulate. She is ramping up my dosage. 500mg once a day for a week then increasing to 500mg in the morning and 500mg at night for a week and then 500mg in the morning and 1000mg at night. If I can stand that for a month she will go up to 1000mg in the morning and another 1000mg at night. Her thought is that if we can get me ovulating within 12 months without something like Cl0mid it would be better. I think the statistic was that Cl0mid only works on 40% of people with PCOS or something like that.

So far I have already lost 4 pounds. I am embarrassed to say how many more I have to go. It really is just a drop on the bucket.

So the funny story about not having a period since February. The nurse brought me into the exam room and was taking my temp, blood pressure, and a brief history. She asked me when my last period was and I told her that I thought it was in February. She looked shocked and asked me if I was pregnant. I told her no and she asked me if I was sure. I told her there was no chance that I was pregnant, that I was in a monogamous relationship with a woman. She said that there always a chance and asked me again if I was sure. I said yes. She asked me if I had taken an HPT. I finally responded, “I have not had sex with a man since 1998. Have you ever heard of a 9 year gestation?” I have never seen a woman blush so fast. She fumbled with my blood pressure cuff, said it wasn’t working and that she would have to go get another one and left. She never came back. I don’t know if she was embarrassed or scared, but I don’t think she will be so adamant that a woman could be pregnant ever again.

Tentatively Excited

We may have found a new donor. R and I went through all the men in our lives. We decided that there was just one man, J, that we trusted enough to be our donor. He is closer to me that he is to R so I decided that I would approach him. We went on a camping trip this weekend with a large group of people. When I got there I let J know that I would like some time to talk to him in private at some point. We finally got to talk last night. He never even let me get the question out. He asked what I wanted to talk about and I told him I had a very important and difficult question to ask him. He cut me off and said, “I will have to ask S (his wife)”. I was very happy that he made what could have been a very awkward conversation so easy. He would like for the four of us (R, me, J, and S) to meet to discuss the logistics and get everything out in the open. He just wants to make sure that S is OK with it first. They were TTC for a while and I know S had a miscarriage about a year ago. I hope that doesn’t influence her decision.

That is the good news, but of course there is a catch. J lives in the town we just moved from. He is almost 500 miles away. We made it work with a donor 500 miles away for the past year and are not thrilled that we may be in for more late night drives. Now that I am working we can only hope for Monday ovulations so we can insem on the weekends.

I will probably be seeing J in 2 weeks. I hope that he has had a chance to talk to S by then and we may be on the road again with a new donor in the next few months!

We know that this may also fall through and are still looking into banks. Thanks to all who responded with their recommendations.